When NOT to be Patient
Many parents have expressed to me a desire to be more patient. They wonder how the other parents at the park seem to have it so “together” and I’m sure they never “lose it” when their child won’t get in the car seat. Other parents just seem to know “how to handle things like that” with more patience.
That’s when I kindly reassure them that they are nuts. We’re all a bit of a mess sometimes (or often). This parenting gig is rough.
Why Kids Whine.. and Why it Drives Us NUTS!
If there’s one thing all parents agree on, it’s that they find their child’s whining to be unpleasant. Our feelings about whining range from finding it uncomfortable and frustrating, to incredibly painful….worse than nails on a chalkboard.
I’ve never once heard a parent say,
“She is just so sweet when she whines…just melts my heart.”
It’s much more likely I’ll hear,
“When he whines I feel like my face is melting off and my ears are bleeding…I just want it to STOP!”
Honesty is one of those core values that most parents agree on. We’d like to raise children that grow into adults that tell the truth, even when it’s hard.
For many parents it’s a trigger issue. At the first sign of a less than truthful statement from their child, the panic sets in.
Uh oh… my kid is lying! On purpose! I must fix this immediately!
All kids play around with lying, or half-truths, or omissions, or alternate versions of reality. It’s part of growing up, and entirely normal. Some children just play around with truth a bit more than others. And that’s ok too.
From my perspective children’s untruths tend to be split into two general categories...
Love on an Empty Stomach
When parents are working on supporting their children through a rough patch, an important part of the solution is making sure to connect with them. Along with other strategies, I always make sure to include this important piece. If you’re asking your child to try hard to manage or erase a behavior, it’s important they are all “fueled up” for the job. And our kids’ fuel is rest, food, and CONNECTION.